


Broken

by Babybucky1943



Series: Collared [3]
Category: Marvel D/s AU
Genre: Abuse Flashbacks, Biting, Bucky POV mostly, M/M, Panic, Steve helps Bucky relax, pull-up/diaper wearing for bed wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 10:54:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17682095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babybucky1943/pseuds/Babybucky1943
Summary: Bucky has so many issues he doesn’t know where to start. Steve does. He starts with patient care.You guys are amazing! Your comments and kudos are like water in the desert! Thank you for the love!!





	Broken

Bucky wasn’t sure how bedtime was going to work. He was tired but so far Steve hadn’t said anything. He’d been stifling his yawns for over an hour now. He hadn’t slept much last night despite being dropped because of the pain on his back and the confusion of being handed over to authorities because he was considered “damaged”. Every sub’s nightmare.

The night before had been even worse. He’d been punished for peeing his pants again, and his dom had been a little too eager and had cut him deeply, so they’d sent for a nurse. In his haze of pain and panic, he’d bitten her and received twenty lashes across his back making him scream and drop suddenly and badly. He’d been taken into medical care and then turned over to the authorities the next afternoon.

His mind went to his earlier accident and subsequent bath with his dom. It had confused the hell out of him. Steve seemed to be gentle but Bucky could tell by the way he talked that he was not a dom that would let his orders be ignored. It just didn’t make sense in his head. In his experience, doms were mostly sadistic pricks who liked to kick their subs around.

He yawned again, his mind turning to the current anxiety bubbling in his stomach.

Generally a sub slept with his or her dom.That was the way it worked.That way if the sub needed help or care during the night, the dom was available. That was how they had been trained.

It had been so long since Bucky had gotten that kind of care he’d forgotten what it felt like. His stomach was in knots. He was pretty sure the sleeping arrangements his other doms had made would be in his file. Steve had read those papers all evening. It made Bucky really uneasy. He glanced towards the kitchen to see if the usual mat was there but it wasn’t.

Steve got off the couch, making Bucky shake. He hated nighttime so much.

“Hey baby, you’re okay. Let’s go pee.” He took Bucky’s hand and led him to the large lavish bathroom.

Bucky’s anxiety was turning to panic now. Not this! How many times had his doms done this?! Taking him to the bathroom and then not allowing him to go! Every fucking night! Torture at its finest and it was so hard.

He tried to leave but Steve kept a gentle grip on his arm. “It’s alright, baby. Just try.”

Yeah right! He tried to cover his fear with anger but it was too much. In his panic, he shook his head violently and started to cry, slashing away his tears with his metal hand impatiently, hurting his cheek in the process.

“Hey sweetheart. It’s okay.” Steve gathered him close, even though Bucky resisted stiffly. Claustrophobia made him panic more and he bit Steve’s shoulder.

Steve let go, looking at him with kind eyes. “My poor boy.”

Bucky tried to glare. Tried to justify the bite. Really Steve had just hugged him. Why did Steve hug him? 

Steveled him to the large bedroom, letting him go once they were in the room.

“Baby, what did your doms do for your bedwetting?”

Bucky nervously twisted the hem of his T-shirt, rolling it up to expose his belly button. He was having a hard time thinking. “Uh, I uh... not sure,” he gasped out. He didn’t want to say. If Steve didn’t know... He was trying to think of a suitable lie. He was starting to feel fuzzy and knew he was going to drop if he didn’t breathe. He consciously breathed slower, closing his eyes.

He knew Steve saw the panic but his dom still said, “Please don’t lie to me.” His voice was kind though.

Bucky started to shake again, his face pale. He had to say it. “They made me sleep on the floor in the kitchen on a change pad.” Unless they’d wanted his talented tongue and hands but he wasn’t ready to share that unless ordered to as well.

Steve frowned. “They made you sleep alone?”

Bucky nodded silently. He had slept alone for many nights.

Steve shook his head. “No way in hell I’m doing that to you, baby boy! In my house, you sleep here,” Steve said with a smile.

Bucky didn’t look at him. If he slept in the bed it would almost certainly be wet by morning which meant punishment. Steve probably just wanted sex first. Doms always did. Then he’d kick Bucky out to sleep somewhere he couldn’t mess anything up.

“Bucky?” Steve was trying to hand him something. “Please put this on for me.”

Bucky looked at him, wide eyed and trembling.What did his dom want from him?He took the offered item. A....diaper?He felt red stain his cheeks. Shame filled his belly. He felt the rebellious desire to spit at Steve. It was an order, and he really hated orders that made him embarrassed. He scowled a little before turning his back. Honestly, he was too tired to fight his dom right now. Tomorrow he would.

Dropping his sweats, he quickly pulled up the padded underwear.He was so exhausted. It had been a very confusing day!

Steve gave Bucky some flannel sleep pants. “It’s been a long day. Time to get some sleep.”

Bucky pulled them up, glad to cover the pull-up. It felt strange. Thick. His other doms had not even allowed him underwear because he’d been too “disobedient”. They had made a spectacle of him so often. When he’d finally started to get angry they’d punished him harder but Bucky had found some power in being awful. He was good at being bad!

He kicked, he bit, he screamed. That’s what had gotten him handed to the authorities. His doms hadn’t been able to get close to him.

He chanced a glance at Steve but he was putting his own pajamas on and was paying Bucky no mind.He ran a finger over the soft collar again.This dom was different though. Bucky had bit him three times and he had been gentle without punishing him. Even in training, they were taught that punishment was almost certain for some actions. Bucky felt like Steve was turning his entire world on its head. 

“Ready?” Steve asked.

Bucky shrugged.The bed looked soft and inviting and Steve was dressed....he still had his misgivings though. Once they were in the bed...

“I want to put some salve on your back,” Steve said, showing him a white bottle.

Bucky sighed. There it was. The sadistic side of a dom always came out. They liked bringing on pain. They liked to see him scream and cry. Might as well get it over with. He stripped his shirt off and turned his back to Steve. His back hurt like hell!

Bucky waited for the pain to come. He tensed up. Instead, the cool cream soothed the stinging and burning welts. Steve’s hand was gentle. He slowly opened his eyes when the hand was removed.

Steve gave him his T-shirt back. “Just try and pull it down lightly over the ointment.”

The pain in his back had eased considerably.

Steve climbed into bed and patted the spot beside him. “I’m not going to touch you unless you want me to,” he promised.

Bucky was confused and beyond tired. The soothing cream had made him relax and he yawned.With only a moment’s hesitation he carefully lay down, making himself as small as possible. He turned his back to Steve expecting to be yanked towards him at any second.

Steve drew the warm comforter up over them. “Don’t worry, sweet boy. You’re safe. I promise. Sleep well.”

Bucky yawned again. He wanted to thank Steve but he felt safer just laying there without attracting any more attention. 

 

Steve watched Bucky tenderly. He’d left the small bedside lamp on to ease any fear of the dark he might have.

His poor baby.Tomorrow he determined to talk to Nat. Clint had his difficult moments. He’d also suffered abuse in the past.

Steve was so glad when the tension went out of Bucky’s shoulders and his breathing evened out. He was asleep.That the boy was tired, was an understatement.

He gave in to the peaceful sound of Bucky’s deep breathing and drifted off.

He didn’t know what time it was when he felt movement beside him. A whimper. He wasimmediately wide awake. “You’re okay, baby.”

Bucky was writhing and crying in his sleep.

Steve touched his shoulder, startling him awake.

He jerked away, fear and shame all over his face.

Steve had a feeling he knew what had happened.“You need to change?”

Bucky’scheeks turned pink and he looked around frantically for an escape.

Steve simply got another pull-up, holding it out to him. “Here.”

 

Bucky slowly took it, feeling the sheet anxiously. Then, he went to the darkest corner of the room. The bed was dry. He’d been so sure this wouldn’t work! He was still afraid of punishment but so far his dom was not even watching him.He couldn’t remember privacy. Ever. He pulled the soggy diaper off fast and slid the fresh one into place.Still felt odd but he had a feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time. He glanced at Steve, patiently waiting for him. It was.....a desire....to ...what? Submit? No. That couldn’t be it. He hated submitting. No way in hell he ever would.... 

“Trash can is right there,” Steve indicated.

Bucky quickly tossed the wet pull-up.

“Clean your hands, honey,” Steve said softly, holding out a bottle of hand sanitizer.

Bucky did as told, then climbed hesitantly back into bed. Was he still welcome?

Steve smiled, tucking his hands under his pillow. “It’s still early. Try and get some more rest.”

Bucky gathered all his nerve. He was going to do it! He was going to talk to his dom! Speaking when not spoken to had not been encouraged before but Steve was different.

His breathing hitched with anxiety and fear but he managed to make his voice work.

“Thank you,” he whispered. His eyes were burning with tears. Steve’s kindness was making him feel things. Emotions that had been buried for years, dribbled out until he capped them again desperately.

Steve smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners with genuine joy. “You’re welcome sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re here.”

Bucky’s heart was pounding as he considered if he dared to say more. His anxiety was almost choking him. He swallowed hard, rubbing at his eyes. He slowly met Steve’s happy gaze, hoping he wouldn’t realize he was crying. Yes. He would. 

“Me too.” His voice wouldn’t work above a whisper but he could tell by the light in Steve’s eyes that he’d heard the words. He realized at that second, he really meant it.


End file.
